[T2DMan]

Add your review of Bilbo's Takeaway Bar and be part of the fun .

Contact Details:
456 Dominion Road
Mt Eden
Auckland
Ph. 0-9-630 5004

[Burger_Lord]

Many ages ago, middle earth was split between the lore of man, and the fading remnants of elvish cities and vast dwarven empires. A peace had reigned for many years beyond remembrance of all but the oldest creatures, but evil forces had begun to spin their web of deceit once more.

Darkness poured out across middle earth, and a great war was waged that would determine the fate of all creatures.

The evil forces of hunger were pressing in deep from the mountains of fire, and those who fought to overcome evil would surely have perished without the sustenance provided by one small man. He was small in stature but his heart was immense and his love omnipresent. Bilbo put his life's work, his passion and his very soul into forging burgers. For each burger he sacrificed a small part of himself, so that the brave soldiers, through their faith in Bilbo, and the magical properties of the burgers, would have the strength to overcome the odds.



Revitalised and blessed by the power of Bilbo, and driven by the love of his burgers, humanity's last hope drove the evil back into the mountains of fire, and there Bilbo cast a single pineapple ring into the fires of mount doom, bringing an end to evil once and for all, and ushering in a new age, the age of Bilbo's.



With evil banished from the face of the earth, the fight was won, and the brave men who fought with all their hearts, returned home to rebuild their lives and rebuild a new world. Bilbo was revered and worshipped, but he knew that he could not return to celebrate. Bilbo knew that the only way to keep evil truly locked away would be to spend the following millennia constantly striving for improvement and customer satisfaction in his burgers. When Bilbo had poured his heart and soul into his burgers it had only served to strengthen him spiritually, and made him wise beyond even his own comprehension.



Ages passed, and many forgot the love and wisdom of Bilbo. As the years wore by, Bilbo became more reclusive in his work, and soon only the luckiest of wayward travelers would stumble upon the good grace of his presence.

Bilbo worked feverishly and soon his burgers had reached a level beyond that of perfection. The boundaries of reality were twisted, and Bilbo was trapped in a time space continuum.



The secret of Bilbo's burgers today stems from the thousands of years of love and determination combined with the seeming impossibility that every burger he makes is better than every other burger he makes.

This distortion of reality threatened to tear apart the fabric of existence, so Bilbo built magically enforced walls around it and set up a diminutive bar complete with lazily flashing neon sign. Bilbo continues to put his ever-growing love into his burgers, like thousands of children he never had. He enlisted the help of some wizened travelers to mind the front counter while preserving the secret of the burger forge, and to this day he offers a range of delectable burgers. Many who are fortunate enough to be blessed with his holy creation, have wept tears of joy as they felt not only their stomachs but their hearts and very lives filled completely.



I pray that Bilbo continues to weave his benevolence long after I am gone, and I will die a happy man, having experienced the magic of Bilbo's and the divine warmth of his love.

[T2DMan]

Great post. Thanks.

[muddy_funster]

Bilbo's - the place where everyone knows your name.

I cringe when I leave my fort, my home, my castle, my sanctuary from man. The trip is a true ordeal. In the back of my mind I know that my Porsche SUV will not protect me from the hordes of reckless ruffians waiting to ambush me for my trinkets. The drive of 200m down the road is almost like a marathon – I practically hold me breath the entire way. But I know it is worth it. The neon light of Bilbo’s beckons me – like a light house in the darkness of Mt Eden.

When I enter Bilbo’s it’s like I have never left home. All of his minion’s greet me like their own family. However, one never sees Bilbo himself, he is hidden away in deep concentration making sure that your meal is made to perfection. If you are lucky you might hear his rough grunts and the clanging of pots as he conjures another meal. He is the true wizard of the grill, masterer of the deep fryer and a true alchemist of the ingredients. One often question what magical beasts your “beef burger” or “fish ‘n’ chips” came from. No other establishment serves them in such a delicate, fulfilling manner.

I have travelled far and wide, have eaten Yak in Outer Mongolia, Snake in the Jungles of Brazil and Pigmy Children in Papa New Guinea. Nothing comes close to the taste of Bilbo’s. Your taste buds literally dance and rejoice at the mere smell of this food. A bite of this food is like a celebration of all that is mortal! One would not simply call this food. It is art!

Upon receiving my hand crafted package of joy I quickly scramble back to my chariot and return home. I must look everywhere; anyone who sees you will seize your precious meal. Upon returning home I lock myself in my study and only then, alone, can I embellish and take pleasure in my meal.

When I complete my meal I am satisfied, not only was the meal is beyond comprehension, but also I know that Bilbo’s is open late on Fridays so I can journey to the establishment tomorrow!

[fine water connoisseur]

He turns his head and looks longingly to the clock on the distant wall. A shiver runs down his spine as he brings the reciever to his ear "yes, the usual, yes, thank you". Overcome with emotion he makes his way through the door and out into the cold winter's night, oblivious to the rain that falls around him. Electricity pulses through his veins as his entire being submits to the overwhelming desire that fuels him as he draws closer to his destination.

Awakened from his trance, he weeps silently as he is greeted by the faithful and yet familiar faded red neon that burns across the night sky. He falls to his knees overcome. It is too much. That he should be so lucky he simply cannot believe it to be true. The sign guides him in like the star that guided the three wise men. He has made it. He is home. He strides to the counter with a spring in his step and hands over the ridiculously fair amount of money which he is to exchange for the forthcoming immeasurable joy.

A paper bag is placed on the counter from which a dim yet intense glow radiates. He snatches it away almost greedily for the fear that it might come into the wrong hands, turns and walks out the door.

Attempting to describe Bilbo's with words serves only to highlight the severe shortcomings of the English language. As mysterious and inexplicable as love. Comforting as the cool embrace of a summer's breeze. Beautiful as a sunset vista. How can mere words convey the passion and love with which Bilbo creates each burger? . Some might say all of life is the time you spend AT Bilbo's and everything else hardly constitutes living at all.

To the faithful Bilbo is a way of life. Brother, Father, mentor and spiritual guide. We are but only part of his Divine plan, How can we claim to know his will and judge him? To judge Bilbo's would be to attempt to judge the universe and all things that reside within it - a task even Bilbo himself with his eternal forgiving heart would be unwilling undertake.

[T2DMan]

Why so many posts in the same theme, with different usernames, and from different computers. Great posts, makes me want to go to bilbos just to see what the fuss is all about. But I don't understand why three people would write so similar. Are you the same person, or friends? Are you the owner?

[fine water connoisseur]

Bilbo's doesn't need a marketing campaign. The burgers sell themselves.

We're friends who happen to be fans, if you go there get a burger - Thats what they do best. The fish is below average so avoid..

[muddy_funster]

Originally Posted by T2DMan

Why so many posts in the same theme, with different usernames, and from different computers. Great posts, makes me want to go to bilbos just to see what the fuss is all about. But I don't understand why three people would write so similar. Are you the same person, or friends? Are you the owner?

All christians rant and rave about jesus in a similar fashion. If jesus was to be reborn as a fast food chef his name would be Bilbo. Do not insult us by saying we are the same person. This merely incites us even more to go forth and spread the word. Repent fast food chains! The burger messiah is here and all who do not eat here will not be satisfied. Bilbo. Life. Burgers. Love.

[Jman McCheese]

I was going to write something ridiculously over the top but clearly it's been done. Their burgers are very nice though, as are their shakes; a clear step up from Mc Donalds or Burger King and definatly cheaper. (You can get a good burger and a shake for around $7, most ‘big’ fast food chains seem to charge you around $8 or $9 these days). It’s a nice change to have a hamburger made with ‘home made’ style buns and recognisable ingredients rather than the mass produced stuff I’m used to (getting actual lettuce in a burger is a nice change!). Another nice difference is if you feel like being extravagant at Bilbo’s you can get something exciting and interesting with diverse ingredients rather than just a mountain of processed meat and cheese such as The Boss burger. There are options right from the basic ones right up to the kiwi burger which seems to have every conceivable ingredient in plethoric abundance (including real bacon), I’ll definitely have to give it a try one day when I’m feeling up to the challenge!

Despite rumours about the fish not being amazing I think i'll have to check that one out for myself - the person posting that bit of information has lost a bit of credibility recently over his extremely erroneous ranking of the cheeseburger over the steak burger. Personally I think fish and chips are a true kiwi delicacy - the option shouldn't be glossed over so callously, especially when you could probably get a potato fritter or two as well. The store also does less western style food; an option which I have yet to explore. Since I’d guess the owner of the store is of Asian descent I’d be surprised if it wasn’t good quality.

Bilbo’s has got an exciting flashing pink neon sign, 2 pinball machines, some basic chairs to sit on while you wait, friendly, courteous staff. Ordering by phone is also very easy and efficient. I asked the gentleman at the counter where the name Bilbo's came from and he wasn't sure; they've been around for over 20 years so the inspiration obviously wasn't from the movies. The name Bilbo's was an interesting choice though. The Hobbits in the lord of the rings do obviously quite like food, and its possible Yujie Huang, the owner, may have chosen this due his percieved link of the famous hobbits name and plentiful, down to earth meals.

It’s open till 2am which is handy if you’re fitting for a snack on your way back from town (I wasn’t sure if this was a credible promise but the other night I drove past at 1:30 am and it not only open but was packed!). There’s not exactly a car park but there’s plenty of parking in the nearby side streets. Luckily enough for me it’s only a 15 minute walk from my house, which is not only convenient but perfect for working up a good appetite!

In conclusion Bilbo’s is an excellent choice if you’re dining out around dominion rd. I’d highly recommend it to anyone looking for something good old fashioned New Zealand takeaways. (My only complaint is that the shakes are so addictive! I can never get enough!)

[toolbox]

Picture this if you will. I was once traveling Dominion road hungry as a little tick where there before me lay one great big festering neon distraction. My friend said to me I thought this is what you wanted? I thought this is what you had in mind? Cause this is what your’e getting! After calming me down with some orange slices and foetal spooning he explained that this was Bilbos, the greatest burger store alive. We entered the store and ordered some burgers. It may have taken 5 to 10 minutes to cook but be patient. If it wasn’t that good I certainly would have walked away, by now. When ready I tore into my meal. At first it hurt a little but it’s something I got used to. Before I knew it I was shoulder deep within that burger bag.


Now let me say Ronald McDonald and his had me down. A love of the dark side I’d found. But Bilbo changed that all for me. I realized that one in three people die of eating bad burgers you know? If I wasnt careful I was gonna be one of those. The burger reminded me that all this pain was an illusion and I celebrated this chance to be truly alive and breathing.


Unfortunately all we know about Bilbos what he sold us. But he is clearly a great man. Well now Ive got some advice for you lil buddy before you buy your lunch you should know that theres a man. A man who cooks the greatest burgers ever and you must clutch him like a cornerstone, otherwise it all comes down.